Being a parent can be a tough job without doubt. Especially knowing that your every utterance and action as a parent is under the mirroring eyes of your children. Some children who are short of sound judgment would emulate whatever they see you do as a parent whether good or bad. No wonder the Centre for Parenting Education says "children are influenced by the attitude of their parents – either positively or negatively". Therefore, when parental roles are inadequately performed, they impair a child's general development especially during the child's transition into adulthood (formative age). This is why it is very important that as a parent, you become even more careful with your actions, otherwise, the tendency of exhibiting behaviours that are malignant to your child’s development becomes incessant and consequently, affect your child negatively.
Meanwhile, there is no perfect parenting style that fits all. However, there are certain parenting behaviours that parents may not be cognisant of, but may have adverse effects on their children.
Let’s take a look at 3 things you may have overlooked about parenting which may affect your children in the long run:
1. Sheltering Your Child From failure: No parent wants to see a child fail, Certainly not any loving parent. However, this does not justify the habit of always shielding your child from responsibilities especially the ones with imminent failure. Yes, your intentions are good, but this attitude of sheltering your child from failures will negatively affect their philosophy about failure and success. A child who has not experienced setbacks or who has been shielded from failure all through their childhood will find it much difficult to handle such as an adult and will always cave in to pressures easily. You must understand that sometimes, little disappointment will benefit your child – as long as you teach them how to try again after failing.
2. Shying Away From Certain Topics: How long will you continue to hold on to that vital information that your child needs? Is it until your child learns it from a distrusted source? Understandably, discussing certain topics like drug abuse, sex or pornography with your child can seem a bit awkward. But not discussing it can as well expose them to deviant and rebellious characters. Maybe you have other personal reasons for not talking to your child about certain topics like sex and drug abuse, but know that you can avoid certain regrets in the future by doing so now. The reason is no matter what you do or how much you try to shy away from this responsibility, your child will eventually learn about these sensitive topics.
3. Children Learn From What They See: Most children are visual learners. They learn a lot from what they see more than what they hear, especially from you as their parent and as one of the most important influencers in their lives. As a parent, your behaviour around your children can have a tremendous impact on their overall development. Teaching or telling is only one side to the coin, meeting your word with action is the other and the more important one. Saying one thing but doing another tells a child that you are not sincere, trusted or that what you are trying to teach is not so important. Therefore, you must do your best to stay true to your words.